Friday, July 3, 2009

S01 E06 – Rumor Has It

We start with a closeup of some flowers. Flowers, incidentally, are often used as a symbol for female sexuality, and I'm just throwing that out there. I think they're trying to be highbrow. The camera pans out, and we're in Ms Avery's classroom. She's pacing at the front of the (flower-filled) room. Her very long hair is loose and flowing. "Throughout history," she feminists, "a lot of our heroines have been lost or left unrecorded, due largely to the fact that most historians are men." She's speaking in a bizarrely low, seductive voice.

The kids are sitting in semi-darkness, and everyone's wearing matching bluey-grey shirts, except for Caitlin, who's wearing bright orange. She leans over and tells an uninterested Susie, "Ms Avery's the best teacher I've ever had. She makes stuff so interesting." Well, when you do all your teaching in that voice, it's bound to spice things up a little.

Ms Avery is still monologuing sexily about "…Amelia Earhart, Madame Curie, Mary Queen of Scots…" Wait, Mary Queen of Scots? I don't really know that being imprisoned for, like, forever, and then getting beheaded, makes you a good feminist role model. Anyway, Ms Avery suddenly turns to Caitlin and asks her to come to the front of the class. Caitlin eagerly goes up to the front, and Ms Avery sits down and puts her arm around Caitlin's waist. "That essay you wrote on native peoples was just excellent," she purrs. "You're the best student I ever had." Mid-praise, she stares briefly at Caitlin's chest.

"Miss Avery's gay, you know," announces Kathleen, who's way too conservative to ever use the word "Ms", even in other people's dreams. "She's a lesbian." "Never mind what they say – we don't care what they think," says Ms Avery. And checks out Caitlin's chest again. She continues to stare lovingly up at Caitlin, but Caitlin's staring at the rest of the class, who are all whispering things like "Ms Avery's gay. She's a lesbian. I heard the rumours." Ominous music builds to a crescendo and…

Cut to Caitlin in bed at night, waking in a sweaty panic from the most bizarre left-wing erotic dream ever.

And the opening credits provide us with a nice little break in which to recover partially from that bit of insanity.

Morning outside the school. Caitlin and Susie are planning a sleepover which, thrillingly, will not be supervised by Caitlin's parents but only by her brother, "Patrick". Jeez, we get it already. They're Irish. But I'm guessing second-generation, as a bona-fide immigrant parent like Voula's dad would never allow something so debauched as a four-girl sleepover to take place under his roof. Rick goes by on his bike and says hello to Caitlin, who says hi back. Susie teases her for having a crush on him (conveniently forgetting her role in the egregious making-Rick-smile plot from two episodes ago). They go into the building, passing Kathleen and her new BFF, the beret-wearing beatnik feminist from Episode 1, who's apparently called Annie. This is obviously a friendship that's doomed to fail.

Ms Avery is just getting out of a car driven by some sunglasses-wearing woman, as the girls watch. "I wonder if it's true that Miss Avery's a lesbian," says Kathleen conversationally. "Come on, that's just a rumour!" says Annie. Kathleen has conclusive proof, though: "I've never seen her with any men." Yeah, case closed.

We get a brief look at Ms Avery's carpool buddy, who is the only person in this entire series who's in any way glamorous. I mean, by the standards of the time. Which isn't saying much. But she has big sunglasses and big earrings and a power-dresser's hairdo. Ms Avery goes past Kathleen and Annie and gives them a friendly hello, but Kathleen just gives her an icy grin, like she doesn't waste her valuable friendship on people who might or might not be gay. In which case, gay is the way to go.

In the darkroom, Susie and Caitlin are doing whatever it is you do in darkrooms. "I've been having some really strange dreams lately," says Caitlin to break the ice. Susie's response is perhaps less than helpful: "Dreams are supposed to be very significant. Supposed to reveal your inner desires and stuff." Caitlin looks terrified. Susie asks to hear about these dreams, "as long as they're not too dirty". How about batshit insane and full of half-assed surrealistic touches? And touching?

Caitlin's being cagey, so Susie pulls a convenient photo of a smiling, post-rescue-by-a-starfish-headed-social-worker Rick, and posits that Caitlin's been dreaming about him. When Caitlin says no, Susie tells her that she doesn't have to be scared of boys. It's impossible to overstate the extent to which this is not the issue... Luckily, the situation is defused when Susie suggests inviting boys to the sleepover, Caitlin points out that Kathleen would freak out, and they bond by mocking Kathleen and her sexual inhibitions. Good times.

Later, Arthur and Yick are giving a presentation on burglar-proofing or Neighbourhood Watch or something. They're using an overhead projector. Ha! Yick accidentally puts one of the transparencies (I actually had to look the word up) on the projector backwards and upside down. Hilarious! Yick inwardly resolves to invent Powerpoint so nobody will ever have to suffer this kind of shame again. Everyone giggles, even Ms Avery because she's a man-hating lesbian liberal who loves seeing boys fail. And speaking of being a liberal, she's wearing yet more Native American beadwork (in red, white and blue, which seems like a bit of Canada-betrayal, but it's not for me to judge).

After the terrible presentation has ground to a halt, Ms Avery thanks the guys and announces that next week Susie and Caitlin will be giving a photo presentation on everyday life at Degrassi, in order to provide an excuse for all the photography and awkward darkroom shenanigans in this episode.

Just then, the bell goes, and everyone gets up to leave. A lot of kids have questions for Ms Avery, and we see her chatting to them, and putting her hands on their shoulders in a conversational way. Meanwhile, Caitlin, Susie, Kathleen and Annie get together to squee about the upcoming sleepover. Annie's excited that they get to talk about boys all night; Kathleen, whose knee-jerk response to anything anyone says is to judge, calls her a pervert. Annie, blithely unaware of the anvilicious irony of her words, insists, "It's perfectly normal to think about boys! What else is there to think about?" Wow, her feminist phase didn't last very long, did it?

Just as the girls go to leave the room, Ms Avery calls back Caitlin and Susie to ask how their photos are coming along. And then she puts her hand on Caitlin's shoulder (not noticing Caitlin's look of terror) and says the words that we all know are code for lesbian lusting: "That essay you wrote on native peoples was just excellent." Caitlin is understandably perturbed that her bizarre sexy dream is coming true; Susie, unhelpful as always, captures the moment on camera.

Mr Raditch breaks up this love-in by asking to speak to Ms Avery, and she runs out to talk to him. Caitlin looks mightily freaked out, maybe because of the weird music playing in the background; it sounds like it was recycled from a '70s movie about Chinese gangsters. As she walks away past Raditch and Avery, we hear him say, "Did you hear what the rumour mill says about [something something something]?' Oh hey, I wonder if the theme of this episode might be rumours?

Annie is watching the teachers from a distance, and says (way too loudly), "Wouldn't it be romaaaantic if they were having an affair?" Kathleen reminds her that "Lezzies aren't interested in men".

At this point, Melanie butts in: "Who says she's a lesbian?" Kathleen reiterates the "never seen her with any men" line of conclusive gay proof, but Annie points out that Ms Avery is looking pretty enthralled at whatever (presumably moustache-related) anecdote Mr Raditch is regaling her with. But Kathleen is refusing to let this go, and insists that the teachers are just friends because they work together, and only an idiot would concoct rumours about someone based on such flimsy evidence, Annie. And since Mr Raditch and Ms Avery are the only teachers in this school apart from the rarely-glimpsed PE teacher, you can't really blame them for forming a close bond.

"What's wrong with being homosexual anyway?" asks Melanie, and I think it says a lot about the other characters that Melanie – who I love, but who is tremendously daft – is the voice of reason here. The girls just giggle, presumably because she said "sex". "Are you a lezzie too?" asks the ever-sensitive Kathleen. "No," says Melanie, "but I'm not prejudiced either." The others roll their eyes at her liberal ways, and go off somewhere else to be homophobic in peace.

Meanwhile, in the subplot, Yick opens his locker and a giant cascade of papers falls out. I thought he promised Mr Raditch he'd try not to be so disorganised? Does this backsliding mean Mr Raditch can bully him again? Arthur is rambling about how doing the project on Neighbourhood Watch was very "stimulating", and I wish he'd stop using that word. He announces his intention to become some kind of crimefighter, while Yick rummages through the mountains of crap in his locker with mounting panic. Yick starts freaking out because he had $20 in his locker and now it's gone. Arthur decides that there's a thief in the school.

Just then, the background music gets real ominous, and Rick walks by in all his working-class glory. The boys give him a filthy look. Jeez, is it Prejudice Week at Degrassi Junior High?

Some time later, Caitlin's thrillingly semi-unsupervised sleepover is in progress. The girls are laughing hysterically for no reason, as teenage girls are wont to do. Annie's making a prank call to Mr Raditch's house – but the phone is answered by "some lady". The girls wig out over the idea of Raditch having a girlfriend, and Caitlin suggests that he could be married. Kathleen says that he doesn't wear a ring, and she knows because she checked, which brings up the ghastly spectre of Kathleen having a crush on him. Caitlin points out that lots of married people don't wear rings, and for some reason she sounds really offended by what Kathleen said.

Before this can degenerate into fisticuffs, they're interrupted by Annie talking on the phone. For some reason, she seems to be trying to fake a man's voice. (The prank call, for what it's worth, consists of "Hello, is this Mr Raditch on the line? Then you'd better get off, there's a train coming!" This sends the girls into New-Zealand-Zapper-grade shrieks of hilarity.)

Next it's Caitlin's turn. She draws a name out of a policeman's hat for some reason, and I wonder who else was in there, because, as previously mentioned, there are only three teachers at Degrassi. Believe it or not, Caitlin's drawn Ms Avery, and she gets all uncomfortable at the idea of prank-calling her. But Kathleen goads her into it by accusing her of being Ms Avery's pet. Stirrer.

While Caitlin dials, Annie comments on her still sleeping with a teddy bear, and Caitlin lies and says she doesn't sleep with him, she just doesn't want to throw him away. I'm not sure what the point of this bit of dialogue actually is. Her whole bedroom décor is pretty childish, which I guess is meant to underscore the tension inherent in her troubling sexual awakening and impending irritating political activism. Or I might be overthinking this a little.

Anyway, Caitlin gets through, and asks for Ms Avery, but she's not home. Yet more giggling. Susie asks who answered the phone, and Caitlin says it was "some lady". Wow, some lady sure gets around! Kathleen immediately decides that "some lady" is in fact Ms Avery's "lover", and I'm very surprised at her use of such romantic terminology, rather than "hell-bound partner in sin" or suchlike. Caitlin gets pissed off and insists that Ms Avery isn't a lesbian, but Kathleen runs through the evidence again: "She's not married, and she's always with that woman." What a fine investigative mind.

Caitlin insists they're just friends, and Kathleen drops the bombshell that she saw Ms Avery and her buddy holding hands on "King Street" (which does exist; perfunctory consultation of Wikipedia gives no mention of a thriving lesbian scene, but reveals that King Street is known for swanky restaurants and luxury furniture. Your fact for the day). Also, they were "talking in each other's ears", which seems like the most appropriate place to talk into, and I don't know why Kathleen finds it so hilarious. Caitlin looks unutterably disgusted.

Monday morning. Kathleen and Annie are having a (presumably homophobic) confab in front of the school. Ms Avery and her glam gal pal pull up at the kerb, and Ms Avery gives her friend a kiss on the cheek before getting out. Kathleen and Annie gape in astonishment as Ms Avery walks by, all lesbian-like. Kathleen whispers, "That must have been her girlfriend!"

Did somebody say "subplot"? Arthur's sourced a huge magnifying glass and a tin of fingerprint powder. Bah – my sources say you can just use talcum powder, and my sources are infallible! Yick is dusting the powder all over his locker with what looks like a big makeup brush; the door is covered in handprints. Yick points out that this is no use if they don't know who the fingerprints belong to. Arthur decides that they need to find a "prime suspect" to scapegoat, and that they should look for someone behaving unusually.

Right on cue, Rick walks in with a big paper bag, and in the background we hear him offering liquorice to randomers and explaining that he won a hundred dollars in the lottery. And I'll just give you a minute to digest the awesomeness of this guy: despite his poverty-strickenness, he blew his winnings on enough liquorice for the whole school. He's adorable.

In Ms Avery's classroom, Kathleen and Annie are still freaking out over the Great Lesbian Kiss. "It was disgusting!" says Kathleen. "They almost kissed on the lips and everything!" hisses Annie. Melanie is unimpressed.

Rick walks in and gives liquorice to Caitlin and Susie (though mostly to Caitlin), and it seems that living with your biker brother can cure all ills: his skin's cleared up a treat since he got away from his Bad Dad. Caitlin and Susie squee over his awesomeness. They're both wearing pretty bad outfits, by the way: Caitlin's got a sleeveless sweatshirt with a zebra print in shades of green, and Susie's wearing a sweatshirt with a giant houndstooth print, and suspenders over that. It's made of wrong.

Kathleen calls the girls over to tell them about "the Kiss", even though Melanie insists it was just a "pack", by which I think she means "peck", and maintains that "lots of women do that". But Kathleen and Annie are way too caught up in this lesbian witch-hunt to listen to reason. Caitlin says that the others will look stupid when it turns out Ms Avery has a boyfriend, which Kathleen points out she has no evidence for, but Caitlin's all, "Absence of evidence is no evidence of absence, bitch" and Kathleen gives her a filthy look.

Just then, everyone's favourite lesbian liberal walks in, and everyone sits down at their desks. Kathleen then puts up her hand and asks "Miss" Avery if she has a boyfriend. Ms Avery gives her a funny look for a second, and replies, "Hundreds. But I don't know what business that is of yours." OMG Ms Avery's a skank! She admitted it! Everybody laughs, but the Lesbian Investigation Committee knows they've been fobbed off, and for various reasons, none of them is amused.

Just as Ms Avery is about to start the class, Rick goes up and gives her some liquorice. Awwww. As he returns to his seat, Yick and Arthur give him suspicious looks.

After class, Rick's getting stuff out of his locker while Yick and Arthur besmirch his character a short distance away. Arthur's idea of proof is "Nobody wins only a hundred bucks!" He should go into business with Kathleen. There's also some discussion of a rumour that Rick previously got caught shoplifting various items up to and including a radio, and Arthur decides that they're "dealing with a criminal". In the midst of this, Rick realises he's being watched, but does his best to ignore it.

Later, in the darkroom, Susie is developing the photo of Ms Avery with her hand on Caitlin's shoulder. A propos of nothing, she muses, "I wonder what lezzies do exactly, if they really kiss? Like on the lips and everything? Yuck." Oh dear. Caitlin snaps that she doesn't know why everyone's decided Ms Avery's a lesbian, and how would Susie like it if people started saying stuff about her? Susie gets a bit weirded out, but doesn't know when to quit, and points out that Ms Avery "sure does like to touch people", brandishing the photo as evidence.

Caitlin gets increasingly annoyed, and Susie says, "You're acting weird about this. It's not as if they're saying you're a lezzie. Right?" Yes, because witch-hunts are fine and dandy as long as you're not the direct target. Caitlin looks profoundly uncomfortable. "Right," she mutters. Closeup on the photo, wavering menacingly in the dish of chemicals.

Aaand, we have another dream sequence! Everyone's back in the flower-filled classroom, zombieishly turning the pages of their textbooks in perfect unison. The room is in semi-darkness except for a spotlight on Caitlin. Again, Ms Avery calls Caitlin up to the front, and puts her arm around her (and a hand on her stomach), and seductively praises her essay on native peoples. Aw, we didn't get another discussion of questionable feminist role models?

But this time, Kathleen announces, "Caitlin's gay, you know. She's a lesbian." The class starts to get worked up, repeating, "She's gay! She's a lesbian! She's a homosexual!" We get creepy close-ups of the kids' mouths talking. After a minute, everyone starts pointing and chanting in unison: "LESBIAN! LESBIAN! LESBIAN!" Caitlin not very strenuously denies this. Eventually, she wakes up. Commercial break.

The following morning, Caitlin and Susie are arriving at school just as Ms Avery pulls up with her mysterious lady friend. They kiss on the cheek again, and both girls look profoundly uncomfortable, but are at least classy enough not to freak out like Kathleen and Annie did. Ms Avery gets out of the car and calls to Caitlin, and Susie (not wanting to catch the gay) instantly pulls a disappearing act. Ms Avery puts her arm around Caitlin's shoulder, and gives her an article from yesterday's paper about native peoples, and mentions that she's ordered a library book for her on the subject. Meanwhile, Kathleeen and Annie are watching them talk, and they look pretty damn scandalised. Annie's wearing a metallic waistcoat and a bizarre little shiny blue hat that is somewhere between sailor and air hostess in style. She should probably stick with the berets.

Meanwhile, in the hallways, Yick and Arthur are spying on Rick. Yick wonders if Rick will steal again, but Arthur insists, "Once a criminal, always a criminal," which seems pretty hardline. Yet again, Rick notices he's being watched.

In the classroom, Kathleen and Annie are busy fomenting. Susie is sceptical about Caitlin being a lesbian, but Kathleen and Annie provide yet another list of conclusive proof: she always hangs around Ms Avery, they're "always touching each other", Caitlin is embarrassed about getting changed in gym and hides behind a towel – wait, what? That makes no fucking sense! What the hell? Also, Caitlin has been acting "strange" since they "figured out" about Ms Avery, and is always "defending" her. At this point Melanie leans over and asks, "What difference does it make anyway, even if she is a lesbian?" Oh, Melanie, you and your sensible modern ways have no place in this increasingly hysterical discussion. Susie freaks out and yells, "She's not a lesbian, she's my friend!" …oh dear. Melanie can see she's not getting anywhere, and gives up.

"All I know is, I wouldn't want to hang around with her in a darkroom if I were you," says Kathleen to Susie. "She might try to do something." Oh no, not something! "And don't blame us when people start talking about you, too." Yep, you'll be gay by association. Just then, Caitlin walks in and sits down, and Susie stares at her in fear, like she might try to do something then and there.

After class, Rick's still giving out liquorice, because he's awesome, and Yick and Arthur are still tailing him. Susie is trying to get away from Caitlin and says they don't need to work in the darkroom today. But since she's really bad at fabricating excuses, she fails in her attempt to weasel out of it.

Distributing liquorice as he goes, Rick goes into the boys' bathroom, still followed by Arthur and Yick. Meanwhile, there's an announcement on the PA to say that "Notices and posters must first be cleared with the principal's office. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule, including the 'No posters here notice' and the 'No notices to be posted here' poster". This show is messed up.

Rick goes to a urinal and starts peeing, but after a minute notices Arthur and Yick staring at him. They duck into two cubicles, but in a second Rick looks over his shoulder and sees them watching him over the tops of the doors. Lucky Kathleen isn't here, or she'd start a whole new round of rumours. Rick just finishes at the urinal, then tosses each guy a piece of liquorice over the cubicle door. It'd be a slightly more awesome gesture if he'd washed his hands first.

Later, in the darkroom, Susie's uttering a stream of nervous chatter about how great the photos are, and Degrassi is really interesting, and her parents nearly sent her to private school but didn't because it was too expensive, and these sure are great pictures, and please don't do something! Caitlin eventually asks her what's going on, and Susie insists she's just excited about the pictures, which, by the way, are not exciting.

Just then, Caitlin leans over to hang up a picture, and Susie jumps back with a loud gasp. Caitlin asks what's wrong, and Susie asks, "You're not a lesbian, are you? Some people say you are, and I say you're not. You're not, are you?" It's pretty clear that there's only one acceptable answer here, and after a second Caitlin storms off, leaving the door open behind her. Which I assume would destroy all the photos, right? Trust me, it's not a great loss.

That night, Caitlin's in bed with her teddy bear (liar! liar!), and because the writers couldn't think of any better way to communicate her inner turmoil, she monologues at him. "What do I do? I can't help those dreams. Supposing I am a lesbian, does that mean I won't have any friends? Will everyone talk and whisper behind my back?" Well, Kathleen will, but she'll find an excuse to do that about pretty much everyone. "Will they all hate me? Even Susie? I really like Ms Avery. Is that wrong? I just don't want to be different." The teddy bear, alas, has no words of comfort. And the ominous high-pitched synth music is distinctly non-comforting as well.

Next morning in class, Caitlin looks tortured. The scary music is still going on, as Ms Avery goes around the room handing out essays and putting her hands on everyone's shoulders. She really does like to touch people. She also seems to like wearing ankle-length baby-blue shirtdresses at least two sizes too big for her, cinched with pink diamante belts, but whatever. When she gets to Caitlin, though, Caitlin flinches back and snaps, "Don't touch me." Awkward. Kathleen gives her a poisonous glare, because there is simply no pleasing Kathleen, and she seems even more disgusted by Caitlin's rebuffing of Ms Avery than she was by her alleged lesbianism. Ms Avery collects herself, and goes back to her desk without giving anyone else their essay.

Conveniently, the bell goes, and Ms Avery immediately asks Caitlin to stay behind. I'm not a teacher or anything, but I'm guessing that if a pupil recoils in terror at your touch, insisting they stay alone in your classroom with you after class is not exactly best practice. Caitlin looks miserable. As the rest of the class leaves, Kathleen whispers to Annie, "I told you she was a lesbian!" Yick and Arthur are tailing Rick again, and Rick's starting to look pretty pissed off.

Once everyone else is gone, Ms Avery shuts the door and asks Caitlin what's going on. In a breathy whisper. She then sits up on one of the desks, and in doing so thrusts her hips forward in a way that… really looks like she's trying to be seductive. But I'm pretty sure it's just clumsy direction. Caitlin gives the most non-specific answer possible: "People are saying stuff." You… you don't say, Caitlin.

Eventually, Caitlin specifies that the "stuff" consists of rumours that Ms Avery's a lesbian, and Ms Avery is like, "Huh." Caitlin then runs through the oh-so-conclusive catalogue of gay proof: "You're not married. You're always with that woman. My friend said she saw you holding hands on King Street. I saw you kiss her." Ms Avery counters with: "So, all single people are gay? We live together because it's cheaper. Your friend has a very vivid imagination. I kiss most of my women friends." Which could all be taken to mean that Ms Avery is a sarcastic, thrifty, promiscuous lesbian, but Caitlin is apparently less cynical than I am.

Hey, I'm sure you're all dying to know how Arthur and Yick are getting on! No? Too bad. They're hiding out at the bottom of the stairwell, and when Rick goes up the stairs they try to sneak after him. But he immediately turns around, and grabs them by the collars. They are too scared and/or geeky to struggle. Rick demands an explanation for the whole stalking thing, and the others hesitantly, nervously accuse him of theft. Rick calls them crazy, and Yick breaks out his own line of conclusive proof: "Right after the money disappeared, you bought a new T-shirt and a ton of liquorice." Which is really the stupidest evidence ever offered for anything.

Arthur also mentions all the rumours about Rick, but just as Rick is berating them for believing everything they hear, and they're almost at risk of learning a worthwhile lesson, Mr Raditch appears in his Undercover Agent in Panama Suit. He clears his throat menacingly, and Rick lets go of the others. Raditch paces past them, delivering a hearty dose of Raditch Stinkeye all round, and the moment is over. But Rick still orders the guys never to stalk him again, which is an entirely legitimate demand.

Caitlin and Ms Avery are leaving the classroom (which is apparently the geography room, although all Ms Avery seems to teach is liberal values and flower-arranging). "Any other rumours?" asks Ms Avery. "They say I'm gay too," says Caitlin casually. "I've been having dreams that… aren't quite normal?" I think it's probably for the best that she doesn't go into detail about the low-budget surrealism and liberal bias in these dreams. Ms Avery lectures her about how sexual dreams are normal, blah blah blah, and the upshot is, Caitlin totally isn't a lesbian. Phew!

Back at Yick's Disorganized Locker of Disorganizedness, Yick is grudgingly suggesting that maybe Rick isn't a total shameless criminal mastermind. "But he's our only suspect!" protests Arthur, who has a bright future in some very corrupt police force. As Arthur continues his litany of reasons why they should send Rick down for this ("we're out of fingerprint powder" being chief among them), Yick digs through the pile of locker crap… and finds the missing money. "You broomhead!" yells an increasingly volatile Arthur. "You almost got me killed!" The boys start throttling each other, and walk out the door still arguing, and also leaving Yick's locker wide open.

So they clearly learned nothing whatsoever here, neither about not listening to rumours nor about looking after one's property. But then, learning nothing whatsoever is kind of a theme in this show.

Caitlin and Ms Avery walk out the school door, and see Mr Raditch waiting in his car. He honks and waves at Ms Avery. "Mr Raditch?" squees Caitlin. Ms Avery, oddly, is not that interested in discussing her possible alleged potential love-life with some random kid who's already asked more than enough personal questions for one day, even if said kid does write excellent essays on native peoples.

Caitlin takes the fobbing-off pretty well, and then announces, "I think you're a really good teacher, and I'm sorry I thought you were gay." Ms Avery says, "There's nothing to be sorry for. Besides, would it make any difference if I were? Would you think less of me?"

Caitlin ponders for a bit, then shakes her head, and the credits roll.

And Ms Avery's glam housemate? Is listed in the credits as "girlfriend". So I think we have an answer on that front.

So, we all learned a lot in this episode. Let's run through the main points, shall we?

Dubious lessons of the week: If you think you might be gay, don't be upset! You're actually straight, and so is everyone you know. Or so they'll tell you. On the other hand, if you're a homophobic bully, congratulations! This is not a stance you'll ever be expected to question seriously. Meanwhile, if you're considering a career in law enforcement, try not to pin all crimes on the nearest working-class person for lack of another suspect: some of these people are muscular, and can beat you up, so make sure you pick on the skinny ones.

Where would we be without Degrassi to teach us these things?


Fergal said...

Wow, this whole episode sounds kinda hot. Surely my feverish early adolescent brain would have remembered every detail. And yet...nothing. Maybe I never got the chance. According to wikipedia, the BBC never aired this episode due to it's (deemed) risqué theme. I find it hard to imagine that their cash-strapped Irish counterparts would have thrown away a whole block of broadcast space simply because of the risk of turning the whole nation gay. If they did, its probably for the best. My life might have taken a different turn and I'd now spend all my time touching people while complimenting them on their work on Native Peoples.

By the way, it never occurred to me at the time, but Joey Jeremiah is clearly a closet case. I'm presuming there's a reunion episode wherein he turns up with same-sex life partner in tow, his youthful flamboyance having blossomed into fully fledged fabulousness?

Ms Avery said...

It's... really not very hot, I'm afraid. Unless you're turned on by people looking vaguely angst-ridden while wearing headbands.

Actually, that sort of would explain a few things about Joey... There is a reunion episode, but I think you'd be crushingly disappointed if I told you how things turned out.